Race to Rick Mountain
by RickiestRickC137
Summary: Morty is grounded for skipping school to go on adventures with his grandpa but Rick takes him to dimension H-592 right before dinner anyway, promising to return home quickly so that Beth doesn't find out. Things don't go as planned, leading to one hell of an adventure. Morty begins to question Rick's motives when powerful enemies from Rick's mysterious past return to kill him.
1. Ricks & stones may break my bones

Rick and Morty – Race to Rick Mountain

Disclaimer: I do not own "Rick and Morty"

(This is my first story, I'm a huge fan of Rick and Morty and with the wait for season 3 I have been inspired to do my own take on the show. With the infinite realities there are infinite possibilities for mixing things up and have it still make sense within the cannon. Criticism is welcome, I'd love to finish this story and maybe do more) 

Chapter 1 – Ricks and stones may break my bones but Jerry is an idiot

Rick's eyelids slid open as he lifted his head off of his work station, he had passed out drunk in the garage for the hundredth time. A small puddle of drool covered some papers that he had been scribbling equations on. He tried to make out his drunken writing before he quickly whipped up a cure for his hangover with some strange orange powder and a test tube full of a light blue liquid. He mixed them into a small cup and sipped it, shaking his head in disgust at the flavor. When he finally realized that the math made no sense he crumbled up the paper and tossed it into the trash bin. The door opened and Morty hesitantly stepped into the garage.

"Hey Rick, you've been asleep all day ya' know?" Morty said as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously, he was always on his toes in fear of Rick lashing out with some belittling insult.

"Wha- Really? What time is it?" Rick asked as he rubbed his head and sipped on the disgusting hangover medicine.

"It's six in the afternoon, mom said dinner will be ready in a half hour." Morty said and then he turned around to go back inside.

"Wait Morty.. I need you to - I need your help with something." Rick mumbled, always speaking in jumbled sentences and burps.

"but mom said dinner-" Morty started to say as Rick interrupted him.

"Morty" Rick said as he kneeled down and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Morty.. I was out all night and I need you to come with me to dimension H-593. We have to meet with some contacts of mine so I can give them something."

"Aw geez Rick, you know I'm grounded. I've never even heard of dimension H-whatever. You're not building a bomb to sell to some alien terrorist cult so they can blow up a planet, are you?" Morty asked, he was well aware of his grandpa's sketchy activity.

"What?" Rick asked, slightly agitated. "Of course not Morty, religious terrorists are the hardest to deal with. I prefer robot terrorists; they have no time for gods and they mostly just want to see the death of all organic life." Rick says then finishes his medicine.

"Rick!" Morty acts a bit surprised, obviously offended at his grandpa's disregard for life.

"Forget about that Morty, I'm not selling a weapon to terrorists. This will only take a sec, let's – uuuurrrppp – let's do this!" Rick says with an encouraging tone. "You're my little dude, c'mon!"

Morty had half smile on his face, he always liked it when Rick at least acted like he cared about him. "Okay, but if mom gets pissed it's on you."

"Yeah, yeah" Rick says as he takes out his portal gun and opens a swirling green circle in the garage.

The two of them step through the portal into dimension H-592, Morty never knew what to expect on the other side. The portal led them to a dumpster against the back of a building and it quickly vanished behind them as they entered this new reality. Morty looked up at a McDonalds that they were standing next to.

"Wow Rick, this doesn't look that different. McDonalds? I was expecting something.. I dunno.. alien?" he asked curiously.

"It's actually McDaniels in this universe, Morty. Their mascot is just regular guy instead of a clown. This reality is serious; no bullshit Morty. The commercials are reeeally boring though, and sometimes there are anit-jewish undertones in their television shows. The multiverse is a weird thing, Morty. This is just a discrete pla-aaaa-ace where I come to meet my contacts." Rick explains before reaching into his lab coat to grab his flask and take a sip.

"This reality sounds pretty lame, Rick." Morty says as they walk to the entrance.

"Don't look at me, I didn't pick it. This universe had Adam Sandler as president, Morty. It sounds bad but he actually did a great job and served two terms. He even had this whole thing where he overcame the anit-semetic stuff in this reality to become the first jewish president." Rick explains even more about dimension H-592 before he guzzles down more alcohol from his flask, leaving some green liquid dripping from his lower lip. 

Morty's boredom quickly changed to confusion when he saw another version of him and Rick eating inside the restaurant.


	2. Two Ricks don't make a right

Chapter 2 - Two Ricks don't make a right

"Is that H-529 Rick and Morty?" Morty asks, scratching his head as he wondered what his counterpart would be like from this reality.

"No and we're in dimension H-592, 20% accurate as usual Morty." Rick says, rolling his eyes at Morty's ignorance. "H-592 Rick and Morty are members of the council of Ricks. When Ricks leave their realities behind to join the council their universes fade into obscurity because there's nothing of value left in them. No Rick, no portal gun. We call these island dimensions, Morty."

"Then who are they?" Morty asks, trying to keep track of all of the information Rick throws at him on a daily bases. 

"Who, those guys? They're Rick -uuurrrrpp- and Morty D-264" Rick replies as he opens the door and steps inside.

Rick walks over to the Rick and Morty that are already seated and sits with them, Morty was still in the stages of getting used to seeing different versions of himself.

"Do you have it?" D-264 Rick asks, raising half of his unibrow.

"I didn't bring it with me, I'm not stupid. I stashed it someplace safe." C-137 Rick says, keeping his voice down as he spoke.

"Uhh Mortys, you guys go get some food and talk about Morty stuff together. We've got Rick shit to work out, here's some money" D-264 Rick says and hands C-137 Morty $30 from his pocket. He thought he handed it to his Morty but he honestly couldn't tell them apart.

The Mortys walked to the counter and were greeted by a greasy teenage boy with braces and an employee unifrom on.

"Welcome to McDaniels, how can I help you?" the boy asks, looking a bit confused at the identical kids. "Are you guys like.. twins or something?"

"Uhhh yeah." Morty says, letting that problem solve itself. "I'm gonna eat dinner when I get home in a minute, do you want anything?" C-137 Morty asks his counterpart.

"No, I'm okay. My mom is making spaghetti tonight and Rick said this only take a sec." D-264 Morty says

"Huh, my mom is making pork chops. The mutiverse sure is a wacky place, ya know? You never - you never really know what to expect." C-137 Morty says while rubbing the back of his neck, trying to say things that Rick has said to him to make himself seem more aware.

"I thought you guys were twins?" The cashier asks with an uncomfortable look on his face after listening to them talk about different mothers and the multiverse.

"Oh.. uhmmm we're twins by marragie? His mom- WHAT THE HELL, RICK!?" C-137 Morty interupts himself when he and D-264 Morty see their Ricks wrestling with each other at their table.

"I'm gonna kick your f***ing ass!" One of the Ricks yells to the other one as the identicle men trade punches and make a scene inside of the McDaniels.

"Oh man, Ricks. Am I right?" D-264 Morty says as he shakes his head at them.

The cashier stands there in total awe with his mouth hanging open as he watches two identicle old men wearing the same clothes beat the shit out of each other in front of two identicle kids wearing the same clothes.

As the Ricks roll around on the floor, one of them pulls out his portal gun and the other tries to grab it from his hands.

"You weasly Rick bastard! You're gonna sell me out to the Order!" The one trying to grab the portal gun says.

"Fuck me, buddy!" The other Rick says as he shoots a portal onto the floor beneath them, causing them both to fall through. The portal closes behind them, leaving both of the Mortys behind. They stared at each other with worried faces, wondering what they're supposed to do in a situation like this.

After the Mortys spent 15 minutes sitting around in the McDaniels, the police showed up and started asking everyone questions about the mysterious twin old men who were fighting and then suddenly disappered into a green portal that opened up on the floor. They were surprised that so many people were claiming to had seen this portal and their prime suspects for questioning were the identicle twin boys who everyone saw come in with these men. 

Just as the Mortys were starting to think they had been abandoned in this reality, a portal opened up and one Rick stepped through with a black eye and blood on his shirt and lab coat. He immediatly pulled out a sci-fi weapon and froze both of the cops into solid ice before they could draw thier guns. Everyone in the McDaniels paniced and started to run out of the restraunt screaming. The two Mortys looked at each other with shock and even more worry than before because they didn't know which Rick had returned for them but from the look of how much blood was on him it seemed like one of them had lost a Rick.


End file.
